Childbirth 101

We started our childbirth classes tonight at Cox South hospital. I've been really looking forward to them because I really don't know squat about labor and delivery. I must say, though, that I hated every minute of it.

We started the class with a 45 minute tour of labor and delivery. While it may seem as though this would be beneficial, it wasn't. First of all, you feel like you're in a prison. Actually, it's more like a mental ward. There are locked doors everywhere and all the hallways are long and narrow with no color. The actual delivery rooms are located along several long corridors with locked doors and a small window to peep in each room. I can't imagine making the trip down that hallway when I'm in labor and feel any sense of comfort.

Our tour guide then demonstrated some of the "features" of the room. When it's showtime, a huge door of sorts retracts from the ceiling and an electric flood light lowers down right over you that is about the size of a ceiling fan. Also, the bed that the moms lay on is raised 5 feet in the air with a mattress that's 2 inches thick. Right along side that is where the dads hang out - in an oversized leather recliner. Fair? I don't think so.

We then saw where the c-section suites are and the recovery rooms. We also swung by the perinatal ICU and the neonatal ICU. I don't think they should let a big group of expectant moms go in those areas. Not because it will scare the preggies but because all the families in those areas are visiting people who aren't in the best of condition. They probably don't appreciate the tour group strolling through.

We then returned to our classroom where we all learned a hand-massaging technique and practiced some breathing and relaxation. This is what I'm referring to as the peak of dumbness. She made everyone sit on the hard floor and lean back against their spouse. I'm sorry but that's not comfortable when you're not pregnant. I'm at a point now where I can't lower myself all the way to the floor. I get to about 8 inches from the ground and from there I just have to fall the rest of the way because I can't bend anymore. Then, sitting there for the next 45 minutes makes your butt sore.

I don't know why they had us get in these positions because it's not what you would do in actual labor. I don't think Kevin is going to get in the bed with me and lay behind me, at least she didn't go over that part while we were in the delivery room.

She then played some soft music and turned the lights out while she read from a book about the differences between slow breathing, rhythm breathing, cleansing breathing, etc. We got to practice about 10 seconds of each type, which I refused to do. Then she did a total relaxation exercise from our foreheads to our toes, like some therapists would do. Again, she's clumsily reading from a book. Who's going to read the exercise to me while I'm in labor?

Oh well, we have four more classes which will pretty much take me up to my due date. I mainly want to learn more about pain management and epidurals, which I think we'll cover next week. Kevin was a total champ, he was trying to participate in the activities and get me to do them, but I was pretty stubborn.

I go to the doctor tomorrow for a 2 week check. Hopefully all is normal and well. I'll let everyone know how it goes. Ta-ta for now, Mandy